Diário de bordo, 19 de Fevereiro de 2007.

Fogo

28 anos nas costas, segunda graduação a caminho, um casamento que me faz feliz e uma família que me ama e tenta me compreender. Só falta o emprego estável para fazer as coisas acontecerem.

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Mamãe com as psicanálises dela insinuou que tenho transtorno bipolar. Não posso afirmar que tenho nem que eu não tenho, mas já procurei informações sobre esse distúrbio de difícil diagnóstico. É interessante saber que gde parte da população tem esse problema e não sabe. Vou procurar um psicólogo só para tirar essa dúvida.

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Preciso renovar minha carta e para tal preciso fazer o tal cursinho exigido por lei uma vez que tirei minha carta na legislação antiga. Já me aconselharam a apenas comprar o livrinho pois, nas palavras de um amigo meu, a prova é escrota de tão forçada que é. Vamos ver né?

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Meu amor resolveu criar um blog também: http://amar-sempre.zip.net. Quero ver onde isso vai dar, rsrsrsrs.

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Logo logo o felino pentelho e tosqueado chamado Mitu será castrado. Pentelho porque ele não deixa o Toty dormir em paz à noite. Tosqueado porque ele precisou fazer um ultrassom e a médica tosqueou a barriga dele. Ficou engraçado, mas esperamos que o pêlo cresça rápido.

Diário de bordo, 02 de Fevereiro de 2007.

Little girl you've got to forget the past
And learn to forgive me
I promise to try -- but it feels like a lie

Don't let memory play games with your mind
She's a faded smile frozen in time
I'm still hanging on -- but I'm doing it wrong
Can't kiss her goodbye -- but I promise to try
- Promise to Try, Madonna

This music reminds me of two things:
a) I should forgive myself instead of the people that surround me;
b) I should forget the past to live the present and the future.

It is hard not to think about the past when it is the responsible for everything that you are. I've made many mistakes in the past, I haven't treat people the way they deserved, I cheated and told several lies. I'm afraid to disappoint all the people that care about me.

Sometimes I blame myself for being so cold and rational. On the other hand, I keep this innocence in my soul. Several times I've tried to be different, but I guess that's the way it's got to be during my lifetime.

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Mituca is not a female but a male Siamese cat. He is a very curious cat and, on the other day, tried to kill himself jumping through the windows. Babi saved him on the last second.

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Soon I'll be 28 and I still don't know what to expect for the future. Should I stay or should I go? I've made a promise to study French this year and I will, I just don't know how or when. My English is not good enough but I can deal with it. My Spanish is awful and I'm trying hard to like this language. Japanese is not my business. Lord, give me an answer.

0 – 0 – 0 – 0

But it's only when I sleep
See you in my dreams
Got me spinning round and round
Turning upside down

But I only hear you breathe
Somewhere in my sleep
Got me spinning round and round
Turning upside down
- Only when I sleep, the Corrs

Today I'm thinking about the past. All the chances I had in my life, all the opportunities that Life gave me. And I've done nothing to take advantage of them. I just sit and waited for a miracle that never happened. I'm just a daydreamer.